haunted by an ex-crush and sherlock holmes

Posted bylalah at 11:17 AM on September 3, 2004.

its the midterm exams again! for instructors like me, this means a break from late night advanced readings and reviewing, monologues infront of a sea of white uniform -clad studes, the smell of naphthalene (which by the way, can actually form crystals in your lungs. well at least hindi iipisin respiratory system mo, eh? ), acids and other substances that sometimes alter my state of mind while teaching and that can kill you no matter how cute their color may be.
so starting last wednesday, all im doing is proctoring exams. not that i love this task all together. i mean, the exams are an hour and a half long. if by some brutal twist of fate, you find yourself proctoring for g.c. filled-section, then that means they'd be consuming the entire 1 hr and 30 mins down to the last millisecond! what i dont like about that is standing for the entire period with nothing to do but stare down at fidgety studes attempting to visualize their neighbor's answers. so far, in my 1 year and 3 months of teaching, i havent actually caught a cheater whose paper i had to confiscate, tear in half before his eyes and threaten about the punishments in hell he'll get for cheating
so what usually happens is that i end up walking around the room (in total fear of varicose veins ), or engaging in day dreaming, which by the way, sometimes suddenly turn to morbid thoughts as the minutes very slowly tick by. we're not allowed to use cell phones or to go out of the room (duh! syempre naman no!
yesterday, i proctored for another nursing class. i was as usual, expecting it to be a long, torturous moment of stupor. as i was going around signing exam permits, my eyes (all 4 of them ) fell upon a student sitting next to the student whose exam permit im signing.
my heart made a humongous leap up my throat, MY EX-CRUSH! the guy looked up to give me his permit and my heart fell back into place. sigh, it wasnt him! but for a second i there thought it was really him. what an amazing likeness!
you see, when i was in my freshie year in college, i had a huge crush on this guy working as a lab assistant in our chemistry lab. he's also a freshie, taking up business management. his name was paulo. he is tall and mestizo. what i loved the most about him was his full red lips. i was so head-over-heels "in love" with him its a wonder i didnt burn down the entire lab because i kept my eyes focused on him most of the time instead of the experiment i was performing. delle, my ever brutally frank pal, found a very funny code name for him: the Walking Button. according to her, mukha syang naglalakad na butones!
delle can sometimes (er...most of the times) be so demented or brutal, but, well, there you go, 6 years have passed and im still with her.
well, i eventually got over paulo when my affection turned to anime characters (yes! i fell in love with japanese anime characters like dennis of ghost fighter!). i never knew what came of him (except that he pursued his love for music and joined a band or something) after graduation. but when i saw that student, i was totally blasted away! how could he be sitting infront of me in a nursing uniform. is he taking nursing as a second course?!

thank goodness it wasnt him! or i would have melted like ice cream or have ran out of the room screaming like a maniac . why? because paulo eventually found out about my crushing on him (thanks for those times i was staring lovingly at him or sending a couple of my classmates to take a snap shot of him during the u games with me sitting on a plant box only a few feet away watching them to make sure they carry out everything as planned). those were torturous days because it all got into his head and he eventually became an air head. that's probably why i lost my feelings for him.
anyways, his look alike is even more cute, i believe. and come to think of it, when i looked closely at him, all vestiges of paulo's face vanished and all that was left was his angelic face. they only have the same prominent bridge of the nose afterall!
so there, my entire 1 and a half hour was spent throwing stolen glances at this really cute student.
this past few weeks, my nights have been defined with reading sherlock holmes till the wee hours of the morning. im like the same with harry potter.
its great reading about this brilliant, eccentric detective consultant and his "seven percent solution." must be great to have his power of deduction! and its also great to read old victorian english and have your mind filled with images of victorian london with gas lamp lit streets and horse-drawn cabs. just imagine if our cabs today are still pulled by horses! well, then we'd simply call them kalesa.
elementary, watson!

RAISE THE ROOF!

with a lot of help from a friend...

Posted bylalah at 11:36 AM on September 3, 2004.

i have been blog hopping for quite sometime now, mostly to check out on friends whom i rarely see (like bibay) and in my best pal kren's case, i havent seen for 4 or 5 years since she and her good family left for canada . it never did cross my mind to actually have my own blog, since i am very much aware of my procrastinating ways.
kren was the first one to present the idea to me. she said it would help keep her be more updated with my day- to- day life. obsessed yan sa akin eh, noon pa and then i learned that my two college pals, delle and rho (who are also my co-workers now) have set up their own blogs. eh, aba syempre ako rin no! gaya-gaya!
but seriously, it made me think, its not such a bad idea! i mean i also keep a journal of my own, you know the kind that you keep under the mattress of your bed and the one your mother loves to entertain herself with when she's taking a breather when cleaning your room. the thing is, im not a conscientious writer and sometimes, i go for months without writing anything. my mental blocks could run that long, you see...and then sometimes naman, out of nowhere, these sudden terrain of thoughts and ideas would come rushing in. and what do you know? i dont have a single piece of paper not even a pen with me! by the time that i get home, nilipad na lahat ng hangin!
but here i am having a fresh start, thanks to kren who went through all the trouble, and promised to go through more trouble, in helping me get started. so for my first entry, i would like to say a big thank you to my best-est best pal in the whole wide universe (whom i miss so much), kren! lab you po!
this is my way of sharing a piece of me (mmm, yumm! ) to the people i care about and to anyone who wants to listen. who knows, i might be struck again with some brilliant idea which can change the world, like a cure for aids, or how to make acne vanish overnight or....nahhh, i dont even know how to ride a bicycle!

2 RAISED THE ROOF!

TOTAL RECALL Part I

Posted bylalah at 02:05 PM on September 28, 2004.

hey guys! i am back!!! to my friends kren, bibay, alfa/delle, and rho who have patiently waited for my return, i thank you! i know bibay, whom i rarely see, and karen, whom i haven't seen in years, thought of me as being dead but alfa/delle and rho knew better, i was just driven mad by the cultural dance competition. but here i am, a little bit sane again, sane enough to give a total recall of the events of the past three weeks of my life. good thing i was able to write down accounts of all the happenings in my life on my ever faithful organizer which is now serving as my guide in writing this anthology. i might have to split this into parts because it encompasses 3 weeks of my life. so to my fans, hang on to your seats! so how did i, a no-talent being, ended up being one of those in-charge of one of the most awaited competitions in the university for our college?
it all started last year when i was given the task to take charge of the cheering practices of the freshmen for the university week. now this task is some kind of an "initiation" given to single and new faculty members. now, dont start having pictures of me demonstrating the stunts and the somersaults for the cheer dancers because that's an absolute impossibility. we have a separate choreo for the cheer dancers. i was just in charge of practicing the yellers, taking note of their attendance and terrorizing them if they skip practices . dont get me wrong, during our time (alfa/delle and rho could attest to this) it was much worse. we were made to practice under the hot sun at holy mary memorial park. at least our yellers today get to practice at the air conditioned physics lab with free food. ours was more of physical and mental torture as the choreographer humiliated us verbally and hurled anything he could hold of (shoe, sandal, bag, monoblock chair, and his infamous megaphone even) every time we commit mistakes- infront of 40 or so of our peers...and we had to bring our own food.
so there, i have shown a little bit too much of enthusiasm in my quest to motivate and energize, well, i became a bit too energetic. the dean, immediately interpreted this as me having the potential to head something bigger...the cultural dance competition.
so that's how me and alona (a co-faculty here at the bio dept., another young blood) came to be cultural coordinators.
so here's a run down of my life this september, majority of which was taken by the cultural competition.

September 4, 2004 Saturday My Zoo with Bibay and her Honeybunch Jon
I had so much fun this day, mainly because Bibay's Honeybunch was so nice. Even if it was the first time we met, i think we kinda clicked right away. i guess it is a common fear for a friend when first meeting her friend's guy. i mean, dont u just hate those awkward moments wen all 3 of u end up being quite because nobody knows who should initiate a convo? well, good thing for us we had so much to talk about. i am very interested in jon's work because he gets to travel (my dream) and see so many interesting places, especially in europe. it was funny to hear stories of how they get to eat loads of pasta and lean meat every single day that he and his fellow Filipinos there swore to eat nothing but pork fat wen they get back here. result? his cholesterol level went up his second trip got delayed!
good thing we didnt have a hard time looking for the wildlife rescue center wer my zoo, a volunteer group for keeping animals in the wild, is located. bibay and i have been looking forward for this day since we signed up for this group. we share a common passion for animals (bibay can actually be like almira sometimes...hehehe!). we were a few minutes late because we had to find the rescue center inside the ninoy aquino park and got confusing directions.
well, we didnt miss much because it was just a briefing for new volunteers. and i was kinda surprised because the other volunteers wer much older than us, unlike with the other volunteer group i signed up for wer all of us wer in our early 20's. if i remember it right, there were only 6 of us, including jon whom bibay volunteered to volunteer nothing much exciting happened because it was only a briefing. however, i was kinda annoyed with one of our nerdy, nerdy fellow volunteers. she was acting like a know it all and kept on butting into the briefing and interrupting the speaker. to make things worse, she was using MY EAR as her microphone. she was sitting next to me and since it was a small office, we were a bit jam packed inside and so her mouth's directed to my ear. later on, i found out it wasn't just me but also bibay and jon who got irritated with her. after that, we were given a tour around the zoo and we saw the different rescued animals there. it was interesting to see and learn so much about "spectacled" crocodile-like animals and of blue-balled monkeys or about monkeys with engorged butts during the mating season and about owls that jon kept on referring to as "Pagaspas." after that tour, bibay and i wer burning with so much enthusiasm. unfortunately, we cannot immediately start with our training because our september is already packed with activities. so we just informed the my zoo people that we would start training in october. as for jon, he's leaving the country again sometime in october. so bibay volunteered him into being a member by making a donation
after that, brief briefing, lunch time! since bibay knows her way around q.c. so much after studying at u.p., we left it to her to decide wer we should satisfy our taste buds and tummies. she was up for eating thai food, something which i never tried before (shame, shame, shame). however wen, we got to the place, it was no longer the thai resto bibay loved but an asian cuisine resto. turns out, bibay's never been there since a few years back during her college years. a little bit disappointed, we decided to walk along katipunan muna to look for a place to eat. we spotted tia maria's cantina. we thought, because of the name, it was a place for Filipino home cooking. turns out, it was a Mexican resto. hmmm....QUESADILLAS!!! bibay was kinda hesitant because she wanted to eat rice but well, jon's and my tummies won. jon was eyeing the burritos and me the tacos and the quesadillas. because we couldnt decide what to order, we ordered the platter which includes a little bit of everything. i think that's why jon and i got along pretty well, we share a common passion for food.
i think, one thing i just dont like about my september is that i have slackened and have underwent a withdrawal period. u see, last june, i resolved to make one huge change in my life...believe it or not i tried being a vegetarian. i was successful for the months of june, july and august. it wasn't so bad naman pala. i didn't have any trouble about giving up pork and my beloved chicken. i dont eat much beef except for my burgers, which i barely eat nowadays. my weight problems wer mainly hormonal in nature and because of the steroids i took in college for my asthma. it felt so good to be doing something as good as that. i just have one problem: letting other people (other than my close friends, my co-faculty and my family) know i have turned into a vegetarian. sometimes, wen dining out with other people other than the ones i have mentioned above, i cant find the heart to tell them so. probably because im afraid they'd never believe me (given my present figure?). i think that's so stupid because my aim is actually to lose weight. so to save myself from the trouble of explaining that its a new found discipline of mine, i just end up eating "normal food" infront of those who dont know and end up feeling bad about it after. this september, because i had to eat with other people other than delle or rho, i had to give up my vegetarian life. most of the times kasi i eat with the dancers who are not aware of that and to whom i dont feel the need to explain. as delle put it, i am going through a withdrawal period.
i guess that time at the mexican resto was one of those times. i ate so much meat! i have never told bibay yet of my vegetarian attempt.
after that, we went to sm north edsa and went straight to starbucks for coffee. we didnt buy anything from the shops, even bibay which was a surprise for me since she's been earning loads of money with her work and her other sidelines.
we got back in pampanga at aroung 5:30 pm. we were so messed up and feeling icky and sticky, which is very common when travelling to manila. lucky for bibay and jon, they got to go straight home. i had to go straight to school for the practice of the dancers which went on until 10:00 pm. i didn't get to sleep well that night because i had to wake up early for an early morning mountain adventure with dian (one of our dancers) and sir rommel (the choreographer). something for the dance as usual...
to be continued...

9 RAISED THE ROOF!

TOTAL RECALL Part 2

Posted bylalah at 11:18 AM on September 29, 2004.

The Cultural Competition had obviously occupied most of my September. It has cost me not only my time, but also my sanity and my money (the litle that i have...) i barely have time to study for my lessons, fantasize about lino cayetano (and that's saying something since i fantasize about him every second of the day ) or even say my prayers at night (lord...hohumm...i praise and glorrr....i guess u know what i mean...zzzz). as u can see, i wasnt able to post any new entry for the past 3 weeks. it was weird because it was only wen alfa/delle and rho told me i have a cute new layout that i learned that my beloved kren had been working on my blog. it was even more strange that my friends kren, bibay, rho and alfa/delle got acquainted with each other without my intervention...i have tried to take sneak peaks into my stagnant blog and read their convos on my tag board, they were waiting for any new post from me. it was really, really strange and at the same time funny hihihi! anyways, this year's theme was Samu't saring Fiesta ng Bayan. our college (arts and sciences) got ati-atihan (draw lots? im not sure). each college is given 15 minutes to present the history behind and significance of the festival. our choreo was sir rommel who choreographed the college of education's little mermaid dance for last year's cultural dance comp. right from the very start we were worried about the a.s.'s most obvious weakness: the small number of students. the present nursing hype had caused almost all high school fresh grads, intellectuals and science bimbos alike, to pursue nursing. that means the already small population of a.s. (bio, psych and mass com) was further reduced. that means fewer choices of dancers and smaller budget. 10 was the minimum number of dancers and 15 was the maximum. wen we called for an audition, only 8 or 9 people showed up. sir rommel said, since its ati-atihan, sir rommel said we should have at least 10 boys and 5 girls. in the end, we ended up with 1 gay, 1 bisexual and 1 straight male dancer blessed with not 2, but 3 left feet and 11 equally hormone-crazed and fiery female dancers
September 5, 2004 Sunday as if i wasn't battered enough with Saturday's activities, i had to get up at 5:30 to get ready for this day's activity: going up a mountain to sitio kalipi, a small community of aetas. in our readings, ati-atihan's history could actually (and obviously) be traced back from the aetas) sir rommel wanted to incorporate an actual aeta song (sung by a real aeta syempre) into our music for the dance. he made contacts with his aeta connections at the ressetlement site where he is originally from and made arrangements for them to come to our school themselves. but for some strange reasons, even with the lure of money, they did't come. so we had one option left: we go to them ourselves. so sunday, 7 am, sir rommel, dian (one of our dancers), her brother (we need him for his transpo), his girl and i met infront of auf. actually, i was looking forward for this. believe it or not, i love the outdoors though i rarely get the chance to be outdoors. the last time i went up a mountain was for our exposure trip in aduan in college. little did i know, this community is much farther than aduan and the road towards it is more arduous. anyways, it didn't took me (or dian) a long time to realize this. sir rommel, in all his katalinuhan, forgot to tell dian and i to just wear slippers or sandals because its easier to hike barefooted. first part of the trail was very much like in those rape scenes in movies where the girl gets chased in a field of grass, much taller that her and with very sharp blades that cut the skin. that and the actual trail which dian and i dubbed the anaconda trail not only because it's so narrow (we were pretty sure it was made by a full grown anaconda) but also because we feel like anytime, an anaconda would pounce upon us. after that, the trail became more and more steep and we were alternately going up and down. the more we slipped, the more we yelled at sir rommel for not telling us to wear slippers instead of rubber shoes. finally, we came to the infamous sacobia river wer dian and i had to take off our shoes for obvious reasons. its a wide, dry river bed. but in the middle, there's a steady stream of cold, muddy water that's ankle deep. it was hell walking on its dry portions because the strewn about the sand (good we went up at 7 am, wen the sun is not yet shining so bright) were these sharp igneous rocks...ouch!!! while walking across the stream part and looking at the stream of water makes you a bit disoriented. sir rommel, i found out, was very much like my dad- he walks real fast! if u dont keep up, u'll get left behind. dian and i wer left behind because we were walking like divas and prima donnas (its not my fault! i have thin skin on the soles of my feet making them very sensitive). after that, another arduous hike up the mountain, very arduous indeed...now i know why god didn't make me an aeta...at 10 am, we finally arrived at sitio kalapi. panting like a dog and with my last ounce of energy, i hoisted my self up their settlement, which i have observed was a much smaller community than aduan. we went straight to the home of sir rommel's aeta friend. she would be the person who'd do the singing. much to our dismay, she wasn't feeling well! she told us to just come back next week! dian and i almost fainted! good thing, sir rommel knows how to find their kiliti. dinaan nya muna sa chika. one thing about the aetas is that they are very generous and hospitable...very hospitable. if u get there on the day of their harvest, they'd insist that u bring with u the biggest papaya and the choicest bananas they have even their lunch, even if its the only food they have. our host insisted that we eat breakfast but we repeatedly refused and said we ate before we left our homes. now, teh truth is we were really hungry. but we didn't want to eat the food they were giving us because we are worried its the only food they have. that plus the fact we were worried about the preparation of food. but old aeta lady was very insistent. sir rommel told us through clenched teeth that we better eat the foof so as not to offend them. so the can of argentina corned beef was opened and we were given rice and salt and some bananas. now, dont get me wrong,but i ate more of the salt than the corned beef because it was uncooked, and i have never eaten corned beef straight from the can in my life, ever. all the while the entire aeta family was watching us so we pretended to enjoy the food after that was more exchange of stories and then the old aeta lady asked her grandchildren to fetch water at the falls. i was tempted to go with them but i just dont have the energy anymore. our jaws dropped as we watched the little kids, while carrying containers of water bigger than them, skipping as they go up and down the mountain towards the water source, until the trees completely hid them from our view. finally, through sir rommels's stealthy tactics, we got the old lady to sing one of their songs for us, which i happily recorded on our microcassette recorder. a few more minutes of chatting and we said our good bye. the trip down the mountain was made even more difficult by the sun now shining brightly high up in the sky. i was really tempted to drop to the ground and let gravity make me roll down the slopes because i just cant carry myself anymore! there were points along the trail where i have been left behind and was travelling on my own with no sight of my fellow travellers ahead of me, but i was just too tired to care. finally, dian and i arrived where our transpo is! barefoot! my toes were completely coated with mud and my soles were sore because of the heat of the ground and the sharp stones. it was 12 noon so we ate at mc donalds infront of auf. we looked like something the cat dragged in and the guard at mc donalds was looking daggers at us for all the dried mud we dragged inside. oh well, what the hell! the following days of monday and tuesday, we had practices till 11 pm. i had to stay to monitor the attendance, attend to the needs of the choreo and the dancers with luisa, my beloved ex-student whom i missed so much (she's now the college student council secretary). in short, our nights were defined by running different errands for the dance! to be continued...

4 RAISED THE ROOF!